"J" for Jul

Jul igen!

Once a year I indulge in these admittedly adventurous thoughts that not all is lost.

And it has to do with Christmas.

Praise the Lord!!

All over the town one can have a good look at what (apparently!) Swedish Amazons (okay, they have the square look but not a true amazon's spirit) wear UNDER their un-feminine, un-pleasant, un-attractive, un-iform, un-isex (without -y!!), un-flattering clothes, aesthetically offensive, generally bird-bajs coloured, or in shades of depressive green, blue grey, vomit yellow, blodpudding red etc.

Yes, yes: frivolous, titillatingly-lacey, yes, yes, S E X Y looking bras and panties, with tiny little cute dingling dangling, bling-blingy little somethings, nothings hanging, useless but cute little ribbons, lovingly twisted into little hearts or flowers.........bright juicy, hot red, seriously sexy velvety lace ..........

There are just too many displayed in the various shops to fit only on cute, firm, shapely bodies in the age group 13-26....so imagining those frivolous items of plaisir being wrapped around julskinka shaped buttocks and aging breasts that have finally surrendered to the law of Jante and Gravity!!

Let me indulge in these visuals for a moment.

What does this tell us, what message do I get??

All the BlahBlah about jämställhet is OUTWARDLY, a phonetic phenomena so to say. So it seems.

Tack vare Gud!

The superimposed maskulinity, the price wo-men here apparently are happily willing to pay for what they believe is equality, .....scratch the surface and they would m a y b e like to be what they should love to be: Objects of desire, Divas in bed.

Maybe it is too early to give up hope.

However, along with the masculinisation of wo-men goes along a tragic, but unavoidable femininisation of men. They had no choice.

Poor fellows.

It was pure survival instinct.

Reversable??

No idea, but one can always move to another country where the laws of nature still are in place.

In this spirit:

God Jul!

.....and enjoy.... ;-)

"S" for surprise-surprise: Sex & Sweden

It is official. Official it is.

Another suspicion of mine verified: Swedes are maybe the first to have given "Blue Movies" a face.............however in my opinion they have a strrrrange relationship with SEX.

It is so much all over the place, right from kindergarten onwards, there is no tabu whatsoever, it is autopsized, slaughtered and carved up in detail, teenies know "all" about hormones, PMS, könsorgan and their various functions. No surprises left, all charme gone.

But to come to the point (no pun intended, Mr Gräfenberg) : A survey, recently published in the New Scientist Magazine has come to the not too surprising result that the Swedes are NOWHERE on the list of "Who is the most active people when it comes to sex".

And WHY????

Simple: they have no fucking time to indulge in the fine art of love-making.

Both sexes (yes, there are still men and wo-men around) are so tied up with work and work and work and being jämställd and work and jämställhet that by the end of the day, when they actually could meet and mate, they are so worn out that it is nada, niente, nix, nichts, nothing.

I am also convinced that Sweden is the first country in the world that will ACTUALLY be unisexed, in the true sense of the word, LITERALLY, that is they will have a uniform one-gender-race, where the height of achievement will be wo-men with penis and men with breasts and a kind of uterine appendix.

So they would be capable of inseminating themselves and leave out these time consuming questions as to who stays at home and does the nursing of a new-born, who will be pappa-ledig and/or mamma-ledig. They could be two-in-one. How fucking convenient is that?!!

A big sigh of relief when that level of evolution is reached. And all points out to this wonderful part of the world. We (I however distance myself from the "we" )will be the first!

"J" for Jävla, Jönköping, jajamensan, Jantelagen

Trying to get popular with Swedes?? Sorry, that battle starts ulta pulta: first you surrender and then you battle.

And surrender you do to JANTELAGEN, the unwritten social code of behaviour on Swedish territory. It is so imminent that I fail to understand WHY a written script of these 10 Rules is not handed over whilst entering Swedish territory....at least if you come to stay, that is as an immigrant or refuges.

There are not many other reasons why intelligent humans would choose to settle in this dark, cold, barbaric place, the navel of which is Jönköping, MonAmour.

"D" for delusional and decadence

K U L T U R - kul tur - fun trip

Amor's pil.................................................................
..........................................................................................kiss my ass!!


I had to take a break!!
Kind of going into an inner exile. Probably because of these monstrous mörk winter days my spirit is a bit dämpened or dumpad. Whatever.
I do not want the Jönköping-Bacillus to infest and invade me&myself too much. So staying aloof and quiet till "it" is over works for me.

A good start of the day is a cup of hot, sweet, milky tea........and the perusal of Jönköpings Posten. There I get it all.
ALL the relevant information that hauls me through the day and confirms that NOT ALL IS LOST!! By no means.
Todays important news: "Ny konsthall planeras"!! Big, BIG words!! "Jönköpings Louisiana"!!! Louisiana (the original one) move over!! Here comes Jönköping, hotspot for culture !! Do I hear giggling in the backseats??
Together with the venture of a new SMOT-house this strikes me as yet another freak and proof that delusions of grandeur and megalomania are symptomatic for a people in decay. Look at the Roman Empire! ;-)
NO culture in their blood, but an ardent love for smörgåstårta and hotdogs, or does anyone really believe that by building and constructing temples of the art love for culture will suddenly rush through their veins???
"Som en Amor-pil" (quote: Sergei Muchin, ny på posten som museichef, so he is still learning his lessons)....Amor's pil or the sword of Damokles??
Guess I just have to hang on long enough to pick up the shattered pieces.

Filthy habits

Thank god, it's Lördag. Godis-time. Lördags-godis.

Another interesting peculiarity in Sweden.

And it is official now. We can all feel safe!! Godis may be harmful to your teeth, however to pick them up from these open plastic-containers is NOT messing around with your health in general - according to Kammarrätten.

It was declared the other day that it is considered SAFE to eat these open candies even though we blast our (bad) breath on them, sticky and sugary candies, an ideal base for bacteria to grow (the word derives from the Greek, meaning "small things") and probably they consider it to be a negligable risk that dirty fingers may take a handful directly without using the laddle.....

Okay, godis is one thing.

What I often watch and I think it is really yacks, yacky, icky are these bread and bun boxes one can find in almost any of the supermarkets. There are folks who grab a few, squeeze them, to see which one is nice fresh and crunchy, and then finally decide which one they pack up. I cannot help but thinking what they did with their hand before. Touching the handle of a toilet, poking their nose, tying their shoes, patting their dog, cat, horse, rat, shaking somebody elses hand, handling (dirty) money.....

Right, I make my own bread and should not really bother.

"S" for Shoes

There is a custom here in Sweden that strikes me as rather pleasant if you are overkänslig with dirt. I am talking about the dirt under your shoes .
So from the house-wifely point of view you it is actually convenient to take off your boots/shoes/sandals and hopp around barefeet or socky.
However, if you think of the efforts some people may make to match their footwear with the rest of their outfit (and I am one of those ) it is pretty annoying to slope around on some dusty floor, possibly with cat's hair, food crumps etc. sticking under your feet. Of course, one can always take a "clean" pair of shoes along and switch over to those for the time being...........
And then I wonder, why it seems to be another local habit of the under 35 years generation to sit in the bus and wipe off their filthy sneakers on the opposite seat and kind of feel really cool in doing so. If I dare to comment on this they give me either a dumb, blank stare, kind of "I fuck donnow what the fuck is your problem" or the more outspoken ones say right away "Håll käften" and feel probably heroic.
Well, there are many ways to prove a point.

"JP" for JönköpingsPosten

I have to be honest: there was in fact at least one thing that has quite dramatically changed from often pretty bad to nearly non-existant after I moved to Sweden about 4000 days ago.
Yes, if people ask me how long I am here I usually answer in "so many days and nights". Gives the whole experience a totally different dimension. Kind of with a not-so-sweet taste....
But, as I said earlier: one ailment of mine has been cured: low-low blood pressure.
No, not by dipping in and/or drinking the water of Lake Vättern...
..........but by consuming the local newspaper, Jönköping's very own JönköpingsPosten.
My day gets a REAL kick-start simply by browsing through this journal quotidien. Reading it is such a turn-on, that my inherited low blood pressure has disappeared and is replaced by a strong healthy blood rush that prepares me adequately for the battles that await me throughout the day.
And I am rarely disappointed.
There is a amazing variety of news that strike you alternatively as hilarious, unbelievably stupid, totally unbelievable or if nothing else, typically Swedish (which is NOT a compliment).

On this Blog-platform I intend to write about all that strikes me as odd in the sense, that ONLY if you are born on the other side of the fence (another Swedish peculiarity, these fences!) you probably understand what the hell I am talking about.
So: pazienza, something will soon come up.

Myhna

I would like to explain the photo showing the Common Myhna, Acridotheres tristis.
It is a member of the starling family and also known as the Indian Myhna or Talking Myhna for its ability to mimic human speech.
My nickname is Myhna, for no special reason. Though I can whistle!
And yes, myhnas mate for life.

Went for my daily exercise program.
Feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
Am ready for my second shift.
However before I am on the road again I must quickly add WHAT this blog is to me: my rubber-walled cell, my punching-bag, my crisis-center, my soundless (apart from the klick-klack of the keyboard) scream, the pipe through which I can blast out my frustration over this remarkably stupid, enervating, frustrating, soul-less, boring place, where inefficiency, arrogance, incompetence, etc are standard.
to be continued.............

The start of my very own Blog.
I was somewhat hesitant to have one at all.
Mostly because I was not too sure wether it is of general interest what I want to say....but then I really do not care any more.
This way of ventilating my insulted mind ..............or an implosion that will cost the tax-payer money since it will make me "run into a wall" as they so appropiately say here. By the way, another local speciality. Dealing with stress and handling challenges like grown ups is not encouraged here.........
This is all for the moment. More soon to come.