olala onani.....

There is so much to share with you, my dear audience.
But I also think that in the light of Eternity rarely anything of this matters (must have said that earlier since it is my favourite quote).... so I often leave it at that.
But occasionally I am kind of compelled to spit my venom.
As part of my daily routine I do read the Paper that Matters, Jönköpings Posten of course. It never fails in keeping me informed about the things that REALLY count. So today I stumbled over a note that nearly made me drop my coffee-cup on my virgin white beed sheets:

"UNGDOMSRÅDET VILL ORDNA ONANIDAG". 

After the public uproar about things like a stripklubb in Bankeryd, öppetider of restaurants/servering of alcohol etc, I thought it was quite gutsy to "anordna en onanidag".

"Tjejer ska hitta sin egen grej"!!!! 

(citation Alexandra Östhed, ordförande Ungdomsrådet)

I do not know in detail how Ungdomsrådet is financed....but it strikes me as well invested tax-payers pengar. Amongst other political activities Ungdomsrådet seems to truly care about making this world a better place!

I would rather see teenage girls hanging around in town and masturbating than persuing other activities that could cause health hazards or subject them to potentially dangerous situations.

Onani is as such harmless, comes for free, stimulates your metabolism and relaxes.

So panties, sorry hands down, this is really an innovative and imaginative venture.

For those girls who have not yet located their pleasure-spot in the lower half of their body - this is a chance to strike gold, or orgasm if lucky.
Urinating in public is a punishable offence. Even openly breastfeeding babies does not necessarily meet public approval. So it will be exciting to see the reaction when confronted with the sight of a public masturbating-show. In Rådhusparket or so. I fervently hope the weather plays along. Watch or participate. This wont go unnoticed or unheard!!

 Power to the Girls! 

Hit your pleasure spot-

Gently!

:-)

Spira, the White Elephant

May I introduce: Spira, the white elephant, grazing in the middle of Jönköping.

Now we are the proud owners of our very own White Elephant. Or so we think...
What looks as a truly rare and precious gift to its citizens is in fact going to throttle us sooner or later.
The days of inauguration are barely over, the dust of the inauguration party just settled and it is cracking, shaking and rumbling already.
When it will lift it's ugly trunk and trumpet out the admission of a massive failure - we just have to sit and wait. It is not the question Whether but When.

A "White Elephant" is an idiom for a possession whose cost and maintainance is out of proportion to its usefulness and worth. Moreover this beast cannot be passed on to somebody else as nobody really wants it. :D :D :D

One just has to sit and wait....

(Jönköpings Posten, 2011-11-21)

It is not the question WETHER but WHEN/how soon this house of cards will collapse under its own burden.

Megalomania - Jönköping Style

(Jönköpings Posten, 2011-11-14, page 5)

Megalomania is a psycho-pathological condition characterized by delusional fantasies of power, relevance, and/or omnipotence. Megalomania is characterized by an inflated sense of self-esteem and overestimation by persons of their powers and beliefs.

This about sums it up.
(I took this short and concise definition from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalomania)
There is not much more to say. Just sit and wait for the bubble to burst. :D :D :D

Yumm, yumm dead chick/ kanin/ cow/ whatever... four legs, two legs....

Winter is around the corner and we bring out the woolens.
Warm clothes.
Furs.
Wrap ourselves with the hairy skin of dead animals.
For fashion and for comfort.
And at around this time of the year the djurrättsaktivisterna are coming out of their holes.
In Jönköping they are still rather timid.
Huddled together in front of a clothes butik on Klostergatan that has the audacity to sell a handfull of items with kaninpäls. Oh, oh!
Each time I hear about this kind of wellmeant but silly protest I wonder why they do this?
If they would use their brains they would stand in front of the meat counters, too.
Every supermarket displays tons of fresh slaughterd animals, cold chunks of meat, for us to devour.
Every week they advertise full page in newspapers with yummy pics of raw, bloody meat.
And I have never seen these animal protection army posted there, where the blood flows.
They are all vegetarians, are they not?

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy!

JÖNKÖPING, Smaland's Jerusalem, City of the Fallen Angels.
I can barely bear the thought of the Prince of Denmark having to be subjected to the sight of a car with an advertisement boldly printed on it that promotes a local stripclub.
So those organizers at Elmia took the law in their hands and removed this shameful object out of sight of the royal Dane.
Most dreadful to think what a desaster it would have been if this white on black printed ad would have aroused His Majesty's lustful nature!
There is however one clear winner: the owner of this paradisical etablissement.
In their own words "Angelic är en erotisk nattklubb, gentlemans club. Några av Sveriges hetaste strippor i Jönköping".
Now shouldn't we be proud of this?!
I hope that after the Prince left the authorities at Elmia pulled the vehicle back so that we all can have a good look at this monstrosity, mentally note down www.angelic.nu and check it out on internet.
Unfortunately (s.th.that should arouse the anger of local amazones and jamställdhetscrazy females) it is for the boys only.
But that should not bother anyone seriously. Most women here look so unisexy that they can easily slip in and peep at their poledancing sister's.

Footnote: the pic is taken from my favourite morning paper JP.

How to get to know people

After much thinking, deliberation, taking into consideration the plus/minus points of hanging yourself out in the public as s.b. who is looking for getting to know people in this underpopulated, emotionally underdeveloped, socially crippled country I made the big step and registered myself in one of the popular dating websites.
Though dating as in "dating" is not my intention - this is the only possibility to meet other, hopefully likeminded people other than at work or in a förening, the two other possibilities in this oh so civilized country.
I was silly to believe that this would work. I consider the amount spent to become proud owner of a Gold-Membership card with its doubtful advantages a waste of my money.
Anyway, the sum is rather negligable.

Every day I get several emails to notify me that "somebody has looked at my profile". If I check and think it may be a possible possibility that this is a person one could meet casually I often get another sign of appreciation.
A Smile.
Yes, a smile.
Under different circumstances that would lead to a more specific contact, like an email, or two and, if not too far away, a meeting where one could establish rather quick wether or not there is a desire to proceed with the oh so terrible complicated process of getting to know another human being a bit closer or wether it is not working.
In which case one can very quickly and without much pain and shattered dreams disconnect.
But there it ends.
I am still, after all these years in Sweden, unable to understand the mentality and How people function.
This kind of behaviour is nothing more like scratching your balls. Immediate gratification and no further commitment.
Or is this possibly all what it is about?
Silly me.

Footnote: The picture attached is an (detail) erotic sculpture "Cupid and Psyche" I photographed in a friends house, with the permission of the artist.

terror state, state of terror....or: Love thy enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Saw a programme of "Uppdrag Granskning" on Monday, 31st Oct in Channel 1.
http://svt.se/ug/20111101204433/de_blev_oskyldigt_anklagade_for_sexuella_overgrepp

I had earlier chances to peep behind the iron walls of Socialtjänstens premises. I have only one conclusion: these people are so sick. They should NOT be running around free. They are a danger to all of us. I am convinced that their sick mind determines their choice of profession and they would be unable to get a decent job anywhere else. Alternatively they should be marked visibly with a warning sign on their forehead, the message being:
STAY AWAY
IF YOU WANT TO
STAY ALIVE

Footnote: sorry, cannot add pics...as it is they live a life filled with fear of justified retaliations of the people and are unregistered in public records and possibly even lie to their family and friends about their REAL job.

SCREAM!! :O

Just in case you had forgotten that Jönköping is a city of mediocracy, självupptagenhet, Jantelagen, Storhetsvansinne.....this film - if it is meant to be taken serious- proves just that.Enjoy.It is a scream. :O

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPUbRGZjSJ0&sns=fb

Jämställdhet.... or when women look like men that look like women

It is not really "hot" stuff I am writing about nowadays. I think it has to do with SUMMER. Nothing exciting (which is also in a way comforting) happens, no desasters, nil epidemics, zero war .....at least in these boundaries.

.........only the usual.

When I saw this photo in today's newspaper I initially did not even bother to read the text to the picture. I really thought that these were 4 men dressed as women in some silly Swedish folk-theatre.

Was I surprised to read that these ARE woman!!

That is what I see so many times: Swedes practise Jämställdhet to the extend that, as I always say, women here will be the first to grow a penis and Swedish men will be the first to deliver babies, probably sexless ones. Question is not wether but when. And I think it won't be a long wait.

Art Aficinados :) :) :) :) :)

Is this a country of art aficinados???..........or of pickpockets??!!

In today's Jönköpings Posten I found this tiny little note saying that 5000, in words: FIVETHOUSAND, pieces of the art collection belonging to Stockholm's Stadsmuseum, comprising of 31 000 objects, have been "disappearing".

The period of time in which this has happened is not given. But I presume it is not over the last decades. If so one wonders why they have not looked into this matter earlier.

I particularly like the explanation given by Gunilla Rehnström Olander that these art objects "sakta vandra bort"!!!

How she can get away with this idiotic comment strikes me.

I am not talking about Gunilla only.....but the rest of you who accepts this.

..............

.....................

Sorry for the interruption- but I was shaking in violent ripples of laughter!

Land of the Blind

Today Jönköping has been good to me.

I was and still am convinced, or rather I KNOW, that the Swedes per se are social cripples. However, s.t. life catches you unaware and in an effort to butterpolish me it sprang up with 2 surprises.

Within an hour.

First a very pretty young lady at the bus stop came over to me and in many words commented on the necklace and the earrings I was wearing.

Well, she was right in doing so.....but it is not expected to meet s.o. that can see in the Land of the Blind&Jantelagen

Then, within an hour, another young and pretty lady at the cash counter in Willy's rather enthusiastically commented on the lovely summery colours of my dress.

Well, she was right in doing so.....but it is not expected to meet s.o. that can see in the Land of the Blind&Jantelagen.

Life could be so pleasant....if only ...

Golden Shot

Woke up early, around 3:45. That is the time when this place looks like somewhere else. I made this shot from my balcony. The colours were stunning. Barely 15 minutes later it got even better and I made this "Golden Shot"....

Other than that......summer-hole.

Summer-Hole

Not much happening here.

Summertime.

July.

The Swedes have disappeard into the deep forests, pretending to be one with Mother Nature. Of course with the help of all the priviledges Modern Civilisation has to offer.

Occasional trips downtown also offer little or no excitement.

I am however working on a picture series of fashion disasters my sore eyes are confronted with every day. To document this is however not easy as most people would NOT like to be presented as walking offenders to my sensitive fashion taste buds. But I am working on it.............

As a little comfort and in order not to loose my nagging skills I found the above ad in my alltime favourite morning newspaper, The Posten of Jönköping.

Fresh, this morning.

It is too warm to get really excited over this but it shows in a nutshell what journalism is all about, here, in the cradle of Jantelagen and where the word "lagom" has an importance that will be hard to match for any other place.

Yes, "lugn och skötsam"....I shall keep an eye on the career of this promising talent. I am sure he will not have too many surprises to offer.

In the meantime I enjoy the summertime.

Taking it nice and easy.

Lugnt.

This may help you to get into the spirit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pdyiK5kziw

JP about Jantelagen

Instead of sugar in my early morning cuppa tea I read Jönköpings Posten.

It is, like sugar in the tea, totally unnecessary for survival and/or for happiness.

And RARELY is there something written that strikes me as truly to the point. The editorial from vecka 23 is one such piece of intelligent comment.

In a concise manner Mats Ottosson, redaktionschef, writes about Jantelagen, the infamous unwritten law that rules local daily life and throttles everything that is remotely innovative, creative, entrepreneurial.

Why? the innocent and ignorant bystander may ask.....Well, innate insecurity, a genetic predisposed inferiority complex, incapability to acknowledge the fact that others are simply better in this or that.

Something that a self confident person would have zero problem to admit.

Jantelagen =survival-kit in Sweden

Comment will follow soon.

Midsommar...

After a looong, unvoluntary break I am climbing back on my High Chair to throw my pearls of wisdom around.

It is nearly a year and a half ago that I went on a journey that took me almost to the other side. But I am back with a vengeance and ready for the next round.

Midsommar....even after all these years in Sweden I have yet to understand this rather archaic custom. Dressed in various stages of flower-power kids, group-pole-dancing, devouring fermented, rotten fish and getting drunk beyond remembering anything. That may even be a blessing.

For those you have difficulty in following me I do recommend to watch a short film that is actually a commercial made by IKEA Germany. For reasons I do not understand it was banned later. Well, maybe the truth is hard to face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbh3uAZ4WUM

This film truly captures the spirit of this day. No further comment necessary here. Sit back, watch and wonder.

You still want to come here on a vacation?.......

The Fladdermus and the Earthquake

She must have flapped her tired wings, a last effort maybe to raise her body and fly, fly, fly away......and over the distance of thousands of kilometers this soft, gentle breeze became a majestic quake of the earth!

A destructive, killing tremble.

Life is cruel, rough, unjust, BAAAAD.

How lonely and miserable this little fladdermus must have been, stuck in Jönköpings Högskolans bibliotek. Yes, in the end we are all alone.

On Monday evening her lifeless, limp body was found.

It was sent for post mortem to Statens veterinärmedicinska Anstalt.

We need to know WHY!!
It surely deserved Front-Page attention in Jönköpings Posten.

And the tragedy and gravity of this event ruined my day.

The story touched my heart.

Yes, I am not an animal person, however the sight of the limp, lifeless body of this flying rat did touch my heart.

A gigantic 7.0-magnitude earthquake in Tahiti, several 10thousands dead, 100thousands injured, homeless, a tragedy of biblical proportions................on page 26 in todays JP.

Yes, twentysix.

Oh, yes, thank God. Or whoever is in charge.

NO Swede seems to have been hurt or crashed.

And Tahiti??

Where the hell is that? In Africa? Or Asia? Far enough not to really bother.

We are dealing with a harsh winter and it is REALLY cold out here. And life is tough enough.

As I said in earlier writings: it is simply a question of prioritering.

And that is definitely, what we get right (?) here.

"Tjurfäktare tränar bönder".

Well, this is important. After all 5 (Five) lantbrukare died in heroic action after being attacked by their cattle, cow or bull in only a span of 4 years. Drama, drama, drama.

I am feeling somewhat sick in my stomach and do not like this place more than before.

It is so unreal and superficial.

The moment will come when this bubble will burst right into our face.

I hope that my survival-skills, developed and sharpened in a previous chapter of my life, will come handy then.

31.12.2009

Well, after a looooong break I am back again.
Sorry, no photo. Have no idea that is good enough to present here.

30./31.Dec.2009
Things that happened around me in the last months were too loaded with idiocy and indescribable stupidity and what not to even make an ATTEMPT to comment on it.
I decided that even my verbal venom is too sweet to be wasted on it.
I am talking about the piggy influenza, that revealed a shockingly incompetent and outrageously idiotic handling of a (serious??) situation by the authorities concerned.
Even I was short of words to appropiately comment on this madness and hystery.

Minus 12 outside, breakfast in bed, snuggled in my cushions with JP, JönköpingsPosten of course.............that is roughly the situation.
Icy pavements, icy roads, an incapable, arrogant, good-for-nothing Tekniska Kontoret. People that demand a silent NewYear celebration so that their pets and babies don't get upset. These are roughly the main news, I mean, the stuff that really matters in our life.
Ah,well, only one more news catches my sore eyes: "Rekord i skulder hos Kronofogden".
Am I surprised? Not really.
After moving to Sweden I found out that in all these years I had been in business with companies scattered all over the planet I had NEVER experienced such a low pay-moral as in Sweden.
However I am shocked about the magnitude when I see that according to the official statistic the Swedes owe sixtyfour miljarder kronor to Kronofogden. That is absolutely mindboogling. Since I do not owe anybody anything it is even more per person as I initially calculated!!
What the hell do they buy and not pay for?
So much is free here, in the sense that one does not have to pay cash to send the kids to school, and get them even fed there, no cash payment to get into hospital and undergo an operation (in the "worst" scenario it is just a kind of little down payment), the government keeps them comfortably warm (and in line!) by giving to the needy and unneedy a vast variety of financial crutches.
So what do they shop? Food? The fast and expensive one? Clothes that are unnecessary and unflattering, too? The second car? The holiday in an exotic country to broaden the horizon and make them feel more global, though here in Smålands Jerusalem this effect on their way of thinking is negligable.
So it can not be the basics in life like food and shelter that throws them into debt.
Maybe something that is hidden under their unisexed clothes?
Christmas time is sexy lingerie time.
I always find it really hard to believe that in their desperate attempt for jämställhet they may jeopardize this idea(l) secretly with lacy bras and panties. .....Kind of an under-ground/-wear revolution.
Oh dear, oh dear!!
In this spirit I wish all my friends and those who read this blog a
Oh So Very Happy New Year.

"S" for Summertime and the living is easy...

I had the

most relaxing, rejuvenating, wonderful vacations in a long time.

At the Westcoast.

We stayed in a small guest house with all the luxury and amenities I have at home because I do not wish to downgrade my standard of living when I am on a holiday.

Never thought it charming using an utedass...........

We had a functioning bathroom and a kitchen to cook the meals I had meticulously planned and prepared to please my friends that so graciously agreed to share 2 weeks with me.

We cooked, ate and drank, swam in the tiny little pond near by, talked and talked and talked, discussing anything and everything from the vital statistics of Sophia Loren to how serious one should take the oncoming svineinfluenza which is handled remarkably amateurish (provided it is as dangerous as they suggest)by the Swedish authorities.

We discussed and solved the financial crisis which apparently rocks the planet and wondered, late into the evenings, why nobody listens to us.

I could not help but feel somehow priviledged reclining on a solstol there, tummy full with delicous food, on a lazy, hazy summernight.

When returning home I discovered to my utter delight that I did in fact unknowingly had packed a souvenir from this trip.

A green, no-idea-what-kind-of-worm/larve it is.

And it has a FACE!!!!

Maybe it/he/she can talk!!??

I decided not to fry and eat it up, but rather teach it/her/him to learn the human language (English possibly) and thus have somebody to converse with...INTELLIGENTLY , I hope.

However if it turns out to be a butterfly I may pin it on my message board for everybody in my office to see what happens if one trys to fly away.

In the land of Jantelagen this is NO option.

You run fast------------or your wings may be broken!